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And The Award For Best Onion News Headline Of The Day Goes To...

Sorry about your mom, bro.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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And The Award For Best Onion News Headline Of The Day Goes To...

Creed jackets reportedly have the opposite effect. Yeah, I'm sure somebody made a Creed jacket at some point.   WATCH THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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In Dallas these days, it's a Hardy knock life.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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What happens on the dog bed, stays on the dog bed.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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This rule does not apply however if the woman gives birth to a Voltron action figure.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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This is why you should always wear a backpack on your front.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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What happens in Cleveland stays in Cleveland because nobody ever leaves Cleveland.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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Tis the season to sit around in airports.   READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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Wait... yup, it's time to watch Goodfellas again. READ THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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The Associated Press is also reporting that she brought a 5-foot crock pot filled with delicious Au Gration potatoes for the entire congregation to enjoy.   SEE THE FULL STORY @ THE ONION!

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